Nervous wreck under it all

I realised this the other day when I went to meet a bride. I am completely nervous when I sit down with them to talk about my work. I put on this front, and apparently I'm pretty good about hiding the fact that I'm scared they won't like me. I tend to speak up, seem really confident, bubbly and happy. I'm not worried about messing up or anything like that. I tend to work through things like that pretty easily. I'm afraid they won't like me. That's basically it. I'm not like this around family or friends either. It's just new people I meet. I was talking to Todd about it this morning and he said that when he was taking his speech class, he was told that everyone, whether you are a kid in school or the President of The United States, is nervous before they speak. It's just human nature. He said I hide it pretty well because he's seen me make my shpeals and he never knew I was nervous. But I have to put my finger down on the pages when I point to something so they can't see that my hands are shaking. I think I fidget with my clothes and my hair too. I know if I wear my hair down, I play with it a lot, so I've learned to keep it tied back somehow when I go to meet a bride. But the whole thing is kind of silly really. Who cares if they don't like me? I don't know why I'm so nervous about that. I guess it might stem from my high school days when I felt like an outsider and that no one liked me. I was so shy then because I was constantly made fun of. I just kind of went inside my shell and I would clam up when I talked to new people. People thought I was stuck up or rude because I just didn't talk much. But it was because I was scared to death! Since I met Todd, I've been so much more outgoing and confident. He gave me a lot of confidence and I think I've shed most of the shyness off. So much so that I find it strange that I'm nervous. Maybe it will always be there. I don't really mind it too much, I guess it's just a part of who I am. I'm really this shy nervous little girl under all the loud confidence.